all you folks who are married,and those on the verge of it--some rambling notes on this topic which seems to be shadowing every eligible person and his/her parents.I find there's so much confusion in everyone's mind these days. Girls are encouraged to get the best education,work for the best companies, and suddenly--bang!!the hot topic crops up, it's time to "settle down" more's the pity if she's already made a choice.What is "settling down"? For me, marriage(of course,after an extended honeymoon) was the most unsettling experience and i still seem to be fumbling around, more so with the passing years.It has meant giving up a good job, a secure home with loving parents,my good friends, my independence most of all,and even the concept of economic independence is fake,since just because a girl earns does not guarantee that she keeps the money to use as per her discrection,nor does she even get to keep it at all. "Settling down" means having children, which is again most unsettling,becos we had just got to learn about each other when along came this helpless soul and we had to spend all our resources trying to figure out how to be a good mom--no, it is not inborn, let me tell you,mother's instincts are a big myth, a new mother is absolutely clueless,learns as she and the baby spend more time together.NAturally this means the dad tends to spend more time on his own, and that is the beginning of the end of "settling down".
Of course the dad is too busy with his growing career graph, mom tries her hand at all combinations of part time/freelance/home based work,and finds that a stay-at-home mom is best after all. That's what i did, and was suitably rewarded knowing i was doing justice at least to the kids, today they are happy and healthy,admired by all.